No matter how bad your x is or was you should never talk bad about them in front of your children. The thing your x doesn't consider is your children are not stupid and they do grow up.
If you are bad mouthing your x your children will focus on that. If you let them do what they do and try to ignore them the best you can your better off.
My son's father did a lot to me. I never thought my son would understand. He is only sixteen and he has been on my side for years now. He sees the way his father treats me and his father is the one who looks bad. My son asks me how I can forgive his father after all he has done. I tell him because he is your father and that is the only reason.
I try to stay positive and never bad mouth his father. I use to but it didn't pay off. I find that my son is old enough to think for himself and can see what is going on. He knows his father doesn't pay me child support and he has little respect for his father. He is a teenager now and he spends most of his time with his friends. He doesn't go out of his way to see his father. That is because he is old enough to think for himself without me saying a word.
I try to defend his father, don't ask me why. I don't have to bad mouth him my son sees and hears everything now. When something happens between me and his father my son will ask me my side of the story and then he makes his own call.
All I know is my son spends time with me he doesn't with his father very often.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Attention
You have to be careful about what you say. If you have and x that was bad to you they will use whatever you say against you. It is like they have nothing else to live for.
If you have and x that won't leave you alone you have real trouble. If you have children with them it is even worse. They never got over you.
So they are like little children. They want any attention they can get. They will use your children to get back at you. They don't care how it is hurting your children. As long as they have your attention. They only think about themselves and this can be fatal.
You really have to be careful about what you say or do around them. They are still in love with you so they are going over every word you say. They will cause fights with you as long as they have your attention.
If you have and x that won't leave you alone you have real trouble. If you have children with them it is even worse. They never got over you.
So they are like little children. They want any attention they can get. They will use your children to get back at you. They don't care how it is hurting your children. As long as they have your attention. They only think about themselves and this can be fatal.
You really have to be careful about what you say or do around them. They are still in love with you so they are going over every word you say. They will cause fights with you as long as they have your attention.
Friday, April 9, 2010
appear in court
If you get a summons to appear in court and know your x is not going you could win by default. I have a custody issue now where my son lives with me. His father tried to take him but my son came back to me. My son is of legal age to live with me. We have a court action and I know my x is not going to show up. the judge could rule in favor of me and cancel the case. If the other party gives up there is nothing left to fight over.
If I didn't go the case would get continued to another date. Do you know the frustrations there are when it is continued. Just more legal jargan and paperwork and having to put up with the system. It can get crazy.
This is me and my son at a fair. He is trying to climb a funny ladder and made it up once. We share a lot. My son and I have remained close through it all.
I have always continued to fight for my children, no matter how bad it gets. We take many outings like these. The reward is well worth it with you kids by your side.
spending time
If You get along with you x you should always try to spend time together with your children. Even if your x was bad to you it never hurts to try to get along for the kids sakes.
Her I am at a zoo with my son and daughter and my x. We spend time together as a family whenever we can. We have a custody battle raging on that he started and I'm loosing and I still invited him to Thanksgiving and he came.
We were just at a birtday party at my brother Glenn's Saturday. I have a lot of issues with my x and he has done a LOT of things to me that I can't prove. He is now claiming to the court that i'm an unfit mother but I think of my child.
I find it more important that she see her cousin rather then whatever Derek is saying about me now come between that. Ask your self can you grin and bare it?
It is important to show your daughter and sons that we all do the best we can. We should always be positive and get along as best we can. We are not all perfect, being a parent is not a perscription for perfect I believe we should all just try to get along as a family.
Her I am at a zoo with my son and daughter and my x. We spend time together as a family whenever we can. We have a custody battle raging on that he started and I'm loosing and I still invited him to Thanksgiving and he came.
We were just at a birtday party at my brother Glenn's Saturday. I have a lot of issues with my x and he has done a LOT of things to me that I can't prove. He is now claiming to the court that i'm an unfit mother but I think of my child.
I find it more important that she see her cousin rather then whatever Derek is saying about me now come between that. Ask your self can you grin and bare it?
It is important to show your daughter and sons that we all do the best we can. We should always be positive and get along as best we can. We are not all perfect, being a parent is not a perscription for perfect I believe we should all just try to get along as a family.
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