A Day In A Life

Me and my children several Christmas's ago.

Joint Custody

If you share joint custody with your x you must have a hobby. I would first suggest to any woman who has suffered any kind of abuse to find a meeting. Attending meetings is the best thing in the world to relize you are not alone. You can learn so much from other women and the professional who will be running the meeting on how to cope with a former batterer. Most of them will try to hurt us through our children.
Next you should take up a hobby. When my daughter is not here I go through empty nest syndrome everytime. I sometimes sit like a zoombie until she returns. I have learned to keep my mind busy. I focus on my homework, or work on different crafts.
I plan these things for when my daughter is not with me so that when she is everything else is done. That way when she is here I can focus fully on her. That way our time apart if it is a long weekend, I can recall plenty of memories to mind of what we did while she was here.
I bake with her and read. We play games and talk. She likes me to message her and do her toes. I make sure that I don't waste the time we have together. Her return seems to always just pick up where we left off and the pain in my chest is gone.
So find a meeting and find a hobby. Always calmly question your children and stay calm when they answer. This way you will keep and open relationship with them and they will tell you everything that goes on when they are not with you.

Staying Calm Pays Off

I heard from my sons father again. He tried to steer the conversation in and argumentative direction but I just kept changing the subject. He is missing his son and has promised to return the laptop this weekend. I also tried to talk him into giving us child support and he agreed. He has agreed before and has not come through now for almost five years. I am confident that someday he will start paying me. If he does not I do not count on anything from him. I am trying to earn more money to replace my sons laptop but it would be nice if his father does return it. For now I let my son use my daughters computer. It is small and slow but he is still getting his school work done. I reminded his father that his son will be going off to college soon and we should all let by gones be by gones. So far he has agreed. He is a touchy one. One false word and the house of cards could fall. I still continue to stay calm and end the conversation nicely if he can't let a subject go. He is in a good mood because he is working again. I pray it lasts. Until he explodes again we will hang on tight to the hope that he keeps his word. He is not known for it.

You Still Have to Smile

My son is growing up now and he has had his share of run ins with his father. They have stayed mad at each other over a lot of things. I always have to smooth things over. Like the lap top His father won't give my son back. They have not talked in over three months. I called his father to smooth things over and play like I wasn't upset because I knew it would get him to call his son. My son was rather angry and asked me how I of all people could forgive him since he does worse to me. I told him it was because he was your father. I told him we all try our best and even though your father does a lot of immature things he is still your father. I know his father is messed up and that doesn't mean my son is going anywhere with him until that lap top is returned (or I replace it), but I still can't bare the thought of my son missing the art of forgiveness. Once my son is on his own I hope he finds it in his heart to stay strong and forgive us both for creating a situation that for my son becomes impossible to bare sometimes.

Getting Child Support

If you are a single parent still struggling to get child support progress is being made. Call the Probate Court nearest you and see if they have a DOR office right in the building. If you have a court order bring it right to them and they will take action right away. If not bring as much information you have on the parent you are trying to get support from. They will help you track him down and get you a court date for support. It is best to go into the office then to try and go through the mail or Transitional Assistance. They work much faster if you can find and office.

Justice For Single mothers.

How do fathers get away with what they do? I am a single mother of two and don’t get child support for either one of my children. I work and pay taxes but still I am considered white trash because I had to apply for food stamps and fuel assistance. I have had people go off about the free things I get and how they would run things different. I figure it is why I pay taxes.
If I got child support I wouldn’t need these things. I applied to the DOR for child support four years ago I have not seen a dime. Just a lot of mail and information they want that I don’t have on my x.
I have a son sixteen and eight year old daughter. He is suppose to be paying me $80 dollars a week but just doesn’t. Do you know how hard it is to petition the court? Both these men can afford lawyers.
They both live in their own houses and can afford to take my children places. I pay more for my rent then they do their mortgages.
You can’t even walk in a lawyer’s office for under $1,500. My daughter’s father claims he doesn’t have to pay me do to some loophole in our original agreement where we have joint custody. I made a counterclaim and his lawyer just pulled it from the court. He only got joint custody so he could get out of paying me. He wanted me to get an abortion and then didn’t tell anyone about our daughter until I asked for financial help. If you can make it without the financial help, don't ask for it, they will make you pay in so many other ways.
How can we fix this injustice?